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When it starts to storm on the inside, our torturous minds come into full blown glory.
Most of us rebel against feeling sad, depressed, anxious, or downright pissed off.
Questions such as, “I’m trying SO hard to just be happy, what’s wrong with me?” taunt us into feeling like big old failures.
When this happens, we fall back to the bottom, indulging in all those things that haven’t been working, because at least we feel comfortable there.
This is an unfortunate, yet highly workable cycle.
It starts with acknowledging that feelings are going to come and go no matter what you do. Some feelings you’ll love and some you’ll hate.
Before you start beating yourself up, realize you are perfectly normal, you haven’t failed yourself, you’re doing the opposite!
You are experiencing a full range of emotions, which is by far the richest life experience you can have, even if it sucks sometimes.
There is a healthy way of dealing with those less than wonderful feelings in a way that can get you back on track to happiness, peace, or at least contentment. You can do that in a way that will cause the least amount of lasting damage for yourself or others.
For starters, do not put your hands around anyone’s neck unless you are going to hug or tickle them.
Then, give the following practice a try on for size:
- Take a few deep breaths. It ALWAYS starts with your breath.
- Step back from the feelings and observe them, really give them your attention, with the realization that you are not those feelings, you are the observer of them.
- Once you can identify your feelings and figure out what thoughts started them, then you can begin to take care of them.
For those feelings that need some time to smolder, let them. Stuffing your feelings or trying to force them to not exist will never work. Forcing your feelings into the dark closets of your head will leave you with all sorts of issues including ulcers, cancer, and heart attacks. You must get them out.
- Talk to yourself, to a life coach, a spiritual or religious counselor, or anyone healthy and sane that is not emotionally invested in your life. Whine, bitch, rant or complain if that helps. But Refrain from taking feelings out on your loved ones, it’s too painful for them and will come back to you in ways that will make you want to kick yourself.
- Write your feelings out if you still don’t feel a sense of relief. If you don’t like to write, then draw, sing, or exercise until you’re out of breath.
- Now that you’ve expressed your feelings, it’s time to shut up and do something about them.
There is a healthy limit on whining, bitching and complaining. So after a reasonable amount of time, start to focus on what you really want instead. If you aren’t quite sure what that is, distract yourself from the issue. Put your mind into something that will keep it from rolling around in the sewers of your brain.
Or, sleep on it! That statement may be cliche, but it’s a great tool to have in your emotional tool box. You’ll wake up with better ideas about what you need to change, accept or get rid of.