The Self-Improvement Conundrum and What to do About It

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There are too many trendy personal development topics out there that are confusing the hell out of a lot of people.

Are you one of them? I was myself for quite a long while.

I followed the self-improvement circuit, always grabbing for the next gold ring on the merry-go-round.  At the time, the words sounded good and the promises sounded great.

And what about you?

Maybe you buy the books, attend the webinars. If you’re super stoked, you might even wear the t-shirts.

You’re high on the details for a minute.

A year passes. If you ask yourself what the big deal was all about, you would probably have difficulty remembering.

Sure, maybe life improved for a minute, maybe a small improvement lasted.   But, you still don’t feel fulfilled or that you really hit the nail on the head.

I don’t want to put down anything that works for you.  Honestly, if carrying around a hockey puck and referring to it as your Higher Power keeps you happy, then it’s one happier person in the world.

We all desperately need happier people in our lives right now.

In the meantime, most folks are honestly struggling to find their own personal hockey puck.

Here is what usually happens:

The information you’re hearing is what you’ve heard before, said differently.  It didn’t work for you then either.

So, you think you might try meditation, but end up thinking you fail at that because:

  • You were told to clear your mind and that is an impossible feat.
  • You think meditation is some spiritual thing and you aren’t spiritual.
  • You fall asleep before you get from one to Zen.

You give up on meditation and attempt to “live authentically”.

Doesn’t that mean you must figure out who you are, to know if you are being authentic or not?

If you look for “who you are”, what you find is yesterday’s news.

This is because you are constantly changing.  Besides, just “being who you are” was what you thought you were doing anyway, wasn’t it?

Maybe not….

So, you start all over again, with the trendiest new personal development trend.

And, you wonder why you just can’t “get it right”.  You think it’s your fault or that you are somehow destined to stay unhappy and stressed out for the rest of your life.

I can promise it’s not you! 

It’s not the people that are giving you the information either.  They are simply well-meaning folks trying to help, or greedy bastards exploiting the desire to be happy and whole.

The bottom line of this struggle to gain peace of mind through outside sources:

  • Feeling the need to look outside of yourself
  • Demanding that you that you must “Know” something first, like your purpose in life, who you are, etc…,
  • Demanding you to change who you are.

The truth is:

Nothing on the outside of you is going to bring lasting peace or happiness.

“Knowing” is never knowing.  Once you “know”, you stop learning.

Your life purpose is simply what makes your heart smile. Do what you love – THAT is your life’s purpose. Yes, it is that simple.

You never need to change who you are as a human.

You might need to change your perspective, unhealthy thought patterns, or how you respond, but you never need to change YOU.

So, what do you do then?

For right now this very minute, take a couple of deep breaths, put your head up, shoulders away from your ears, and your heart out. Repeat.

Certainly, continue to read and surround yourself with things that are inspiring, uplifting and motivational.  Do this as an enhancement to your happiness, not to provide your happiness.

Practice listening to that place inside you that is not your mind and not your emotions. Call it intuition, “gut” feelings, or inner hockey puck, it doesn’t matter – it contains everything you need to know to live an absolutely fantastic life.

Then remember to take care of each moment, the day will take care of itself.

For Extra Credit: Grab a copy of “Life Make Over

Life Make Over Guide

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